While still in youth he finally sits quietly
A sense of peculiar emptiness lingers all about,
Even after times of such intensity, college, athletics
Honest passions, adventures, momentary victories, satisfaction
Heightened emotions, even new depths of intimacy
Strengthened awareness, strengthened bonds,
And then the mysterious lack,
Numbness or something missing in life.
Like sheep poked and prodded
With discipline guided towards the gate
Pushed and challenged repeatedly
Strongly, strangely encouraged;
Hunger and thirst press in
Hunger for what is not physical
Thirst for what is not natural;
An unseen spiritual gate stands open nearby
Unseen by the eyes
Yet, glowing, pulsing with new life
Wide open for any, for all to freely enter.
Good experiences come,
Good experiences fly away
Transparent attempts to reach out in love from the soul,
And still the same mysterious lack.
Finally one day after a simple encounter with honest words spoken
Something without reaches deeply within,
The numbed will becomes alive again
A seed, a thought enters the mind
A refreshed memory of something read, or something heard
And he stands upright at last,
Takes the first “foolish” step away from self-destructive pride,
Towards the humble spiritual truth of belief.
Understanding takes the hand of the will,
Believing becomes revelation
Revelation becomes faith in the Messiah
And Messiah’s peace takes hold and settles deep inside;
He heard about believing in Him,
Then suddenly he knew he could,
With a simple prayer of surrender, he did.
Forty plus years later
That seed of promise has only grown!