While still in youth he finally sits quietly

A sense of peculiar emptiness lingers all about,

Even after times of such intensity, college, athletics

Honest passions, adventures, momentary victories, satisfaction

Heightened emotions, even new depths of intimacy

Strengthened awareness, strengthened bonds,

And then the mysterious lack,

Numbness or something missing in life.


Like sheep poked and prodded

With discipline guided towards the gate

Pushed and challenged repeatedly

Strongly, strangely encouraged;

Hunger and thirst press in 

Hunger for what is not physical

Thirst for what is not natural;

An unseen spiritual gate stands open nearby

Unseen by the eyes

Yet, glowing, pulsing with new life

Wide open for any, for all to freely enter.


Good experiences come,

Good experiences fly away

Sincere relationships

Transparent attempts to reach out in love from the soul,

And still the same mysterious lack.

Finally one day after a simple encounter with honest words spoken

Something without reaches deeply within,

The numbed will becomes alive again

A seed, a thought enters the mind

A refreshed memory of something read, or something heard

And he stands upright at last,

Takes the first “foolish” step away from self-destructive pride,

Towards the humble spiritual truth of belief.

Understanding takes the hand of the will,

Believing becomes revelation

Revelation becomes faith in the Messiah

And Messiah’s peace takes hold and settles deep inside;

He heard about believing in Him,

Then suddenly he knew he could,

With a simple prayer of surrender, he did.

Forty plus years later

That seed of promise has only grown!


About Gary Bertnick

I was a Minnesota teenager in the late 1960's. I was drafted into the military after an intense time at an engineering school. As a graduate chemical engineer and former athlete, I became a Marine Corps private. The Lord spoke to me through a friend while visiting Rapid City,S.D. My true discipleship began in Southern California and was boosted through association with Morris Cerullo Ministry and others. I fed upon the Scriptures and have learned to be led by the Holy Spirit. I know what the fear of the Lord is. What I write is done to honor the Lord and to touch the lives of those who know Him as well as those who should.
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